（ it's not personal stalking, clara, it's more that he makes a point of (trying) to know where everyone's room are because he is stubborn, paranoid and habitually addicted to work.
the state of her is telling — the messy hair, the dark smudges like bruises beneath her eyes. the fact that she does not appear to care that he sees her in such a state when she has been so immaculately kempt before tells a story — not a pleasant one. perhaps someone she cares for has departed the station, or some other turmoil is at play. he is good at identifying when people are out of sorts, but has little experience in divining why that might be — especially with civilians.
he sits beside her a polite distance away, elegant and guarded as he ever is. ）
Try not to move. It does not hurt, but it feels — unusual.
（ never one to waste time (especially while there is tea steeping nearby) he reaches out for her arm. medics can, generally, heal through clothing if there is a need, but skin-to-skin contact is better when one is starting out, and so he unwinds the bandages with remarkable deftness without jostling her.
once he's finished, he puts one palm distal the break to support it, and begins to gently feel along the edges of the bone with the other. it's been set, and does not appear to have slipped from this alignment since that initial treatment. his hands are warm — in fact, he seems to run the faintest bit hotter than a normal human.
as he continues to probe at the wound, eyes closed to better visualize the damage in his head, he explains: ）
In my world, children who learn this skill study at first on fish because their anatomy and nervous system is much easier to learn than a human's. There is some risk （ which was detailed in that document he gave her, but she did not say she read it — he would rather be redundant than have her uninformed. ） involved when one does not understand the anatomy on which they work, but I have studied the subject at length and to the best of my knowledge and ability the possibility of error is minute.
（ and he would not have suggested this at all if he thought there was a chance he may hurt her.
but yeah, he is absolutely a nerd who read anatomy textbooks as a child to learn how to more efficiently disable his opponents with minimal damage and pain, thanks. ）
If that does not discomfit you, I will proceed.
Edited (i missed a word i am very tired send help) 2021-12-30 09:05 (UTC)
[She watches him as he works, very precise and methodological. She wonders what his life must be where he comes from, what sort of things he's done. But before she can ask, he's explaining. Any discomfort from what he's doing is forgotten as she looks to him and finds herself genuinely listening.
This is unusual, and a bit unnatural for her. She had been so determined to just let things heal the long way around after being brought back the way she had been. There had been a fierce determination to just let things go the natural way, no matter how long it took. But now she sees that stubborn nature has only caused her to lose time.
Time she could have spent training, becoming stronger. It was time here that she can't say that she wasted, but it wasn't her wisest move. For someone that's so convinced they're useless to the rest of the team, she should've done anything possible to make herself stronger.
So she's left frowning as he seeks her permission to keep going, and gives a slight nod of her head.]
I don't even notice much besides the warmth. [A slight lie, meant to show him that he's doing a wonderful job and that she trusts him.]
Keep going. You can tell me about where you learned this from. Why would children need to learn how to heal others like this?
（ whether he believes the lie or not is irrelevant — she acquiesces, and he begins the process of dredging chakra out of the depths of not-entirely inconsiderable wellspring of it. there is a faint blue glow now that encompasses his hand as he cups his palm over the worst of the break. his eyes are open again, but slightly unfocused, and he doesn't appear to be looking at her at all. at her question he cants his head faintly to one side. ）
I requested a book on medical ninjutsu for the Christmas celebration, and Viveca-san was able to obtain one for me from my world. It is very elementary, but it has been greatly assistive in developing my own techniques.
（ over the last, you know, five days? he'd consider that slow to acquire a new skill. ）
As for why — all shinobi skills are taught beginning at a young age. I am aware that may seem unorthodox to those not acquainted with or accustomed to a like culture.
[She's definitely watching him, trying her best to stay still even as she refuses to look away from what he's doing. There is a slight desire to give a little pull away as he admits to only having gotten the book recently.
But they're already deep into this, and she's sure he's trying his best.]
It's no different than sending children to nursery school when they're four or five.
[It's an attempt to reassure him that she's not judging him. But she realizes that nursery school and shinobi skills aren't the same sort of education.]
People tend to protect children where I come from. Keep things that might seem violent or harsh away from them until they're older. But maybe that means they learn too much, too old. As terrible as it can be to be unprotected, it can be even worse to be kept so sheltered everything is a shock.
[But hey, she's not judging his culture or were he comes from. she's just trying to find a common thread that links them together through their different experiences.]
（ she will feel a sense of pressure, beneath the blue glow. the heat, as he'd mentioned. there is not much actual pain in and of itself, with broken bones the tendency is for the surrounding tissue to hurt rather than the bone itself. his touch is light and firm but there is certainly a sort of gentleness to it that seems studied rather than innate.
(the truth is that he had it once, and put it away to become a man of akatsuki.)
the reassurance, perhaps, has the opposite effect. she is trying to normalize it, and while he does think of his world and his upbringing and his life as normal, he is still one who hopes for peace and for a place where children have no need of knives. he is silent a moment, and then his attention seems to refocus on her, red eyes meeting hers deliberately. ）
Clara-san... I appreciate your tact, but I do not need you to justify or sympathize with my world as it is. I am aware of its flaws.
（ he says that with deliberation, it is clear the words have been chosen with care. he has no desire to offend her, simply to make his stance clear. ）
[His words and the way he says them make her silent for a while. She just bites at her lip and watches the way he works at her arm, focusing on the strange pressure she's feeling rather than talking.
But as the blue glow begins to fade and the pressure lessens up a little, she's left looking over at him in concern. She wonders what he must think of her for trying to make sense out of where he's from. If he's insulted, she should apologize.]
Sorry, I just -
[she hesitates, glancing away.]
I just think that something can be flawed and still be good.
[Because if she doesn't think that way, she'll lose hope that she's able to be considered a good person at the end of the day. She's so, so flawed and broken. She will always try to find reason and justify other flawed things and their right to exist.]
（ he releases her, once he's finished, withdrawing deft hands back into his own space as if he had never touched her at all. it isn't entirely healed, but it should feel the tiniest bit better, the soreness and ache to the muscles eased off at least. he will never be truly skilled at this but it is more important, on these missions, that they have a healer than a man who can reach into minds and leave them a desolate wasteland.
realizing that his best function here may be healing over hurt is something he has not examined too deeply in himself. but turning away from the rack and ruin of what he knows, what he has honed himself for — he has not yet decided his feelings about it.
he does not look at her as he speaks, an oddly avoidant tactic. he generally has no difficulty with meeting the gazes of others, it is a question of whether or not they will meet his. ）
And you are not incorrect to think that. I am aware that my village has its deficiencies, but it is still the home that I love.
（ he has spent nearly a decade denying all affection and allegiance for konoha. to be in a position to say it so freely, without wondering who he may have condemned by saying so, is an odd thing. freeing, almost. she cannot know the gift she has given him, nor is it evident.
he stands, then, and gives her a polite — if shallow — bow. ）
You have my gratitude for allowing me to work on your arm.
（ there is still the tea to be had, but at the very least he can move to one of the chairs for that. he turns to the tray, and sets about filling the little earthenware cups. ）
[The way he stays so calm and collected, even while turning gratitude toward her. She could point out that he's the one that's helped her, but she's so completely charmed by him that she doesn't have the heart to rebuke what he's said.
Instead, she turns her focus onto tea. Tea is nice and safe, it's something they both enjoy. It's a way to enjoy one another's company without any expectations of conversation beyond simple small talk.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
the state of her is telling — the messy hair, the dark smudges like bruises beneath her eyes. the fact that she does not appear to care that he sees her in such a state when she has been so immaculately kempt before tells a story — not a pleasant one. perhaps someone she cares for has departed the station, or some other turmoil is at play. he is good at identifying when people are out of sorts, but has little experience in divining why that might be — especially with civilians.
he sits beside her a polite distance away, elegant and guarded as he ever is. ）
Try not to move. It does not hurt, but it feels — unusual.
（ never one to waste time (especially while there is tea steeping nearby) he reaches out for her arm. medics can, generally, heal through clothing if there is a need, but skin-to-skin contact is better when one is starting out, and so he unwinds the bandages with remarkable deftness without jostling her.
once he's finished, he puts one palm distal the break to support it, and begins to gently feel along the edges of the bone with the other. it's been set, and does not appear to have slipped from this alignment since that initial treatment. his hands are warm — in fact, he seems to run the faintest bit hotter than a normal human.
as he continues to probe at the wound, eyes closed to better visualize the damage in his head, he explains: ）
In my world, children who learn this skill study at first on fish because their anatomy and nervous system is much easier to learn than a human's. There is some risk （ which was detailed in that document he gave her, but she did not say she read it — he would rather be redundant than have her uninformed. ） involved when one does not understand the anatomy on which they work, but I have studied the subject at length and to the best of my knowledge and ability the possibility of error is minute.
（ and he would not have suggested this at all if he thought there was a chance he may hurt her.
but yeah, he is absolutely a nerd who read anatomy textbooks as a child to learn how to more efficiently disable his opponents with minimal damage and pain, thanks. ）
If that does not discomfit you, I will proceed.
no subject
This is unusual, and a bit unnatural for her. She had been so determined to just let things heal the long way around after being brought back the way she had been. There had been a fierce determination to just let things go the natural way, no matter how long it took. But now she sees that stubborn nature has only caused her to lose time.
Time she could have spent training, becoming stronger. It was time here that she can't say that she wasted, but it wasn't her wisest move. For someone that's so convinced they're useless to the rest of the team, she should've done anything possible to make herself stronger.
So she's left frowning as he seeks her permission to keep going, and gives a slight nod of her head.]
I don't even notice much besides the warmth. [A slight lie, meant to show him that he's doing a wonderful job and that she trusts him.]
Keep going. You can tell me about where you learned this from. Why would children need to learn how to heal others like this?
no subject
I requested a book on medical ninjutsu for the Christmas celebration, and Viveca-san was able to obtain one for me from my world. It is very elementary, but it has been greatly assistive in developing my own techniques.
（ over the last, you know, five days? he'd consider that slow to acquire a new skill. ）
As for why — all shinobi skills are taught beginning at a young age. I am aware that may seem unorthodox to those not acquainted with or accustomed to a like culture.
no subject
But they're already deep into this, and she's sure he's trying his best.]
It's no different than sending children to nursery school when they're four or five.
[It's an attempt to reassure him that she's not judging him. But she realizes that nursery school and shinobi skills aren't the same sort of education.]
People tend to protect children where I come from. Keep things that might seem violent or harsh away from them until they're older. But maybe that means they learn too much, too old. As terrible as it can be to be unprotected, it can be even worse to be kept so sheltered everything is a shock.
[But hey, she's not judging his culture or were he comes from. she's just trying to find a common thread that links them together through their different experiences.]
no subject
(the truth is that he had it once, and put it away to become a man of akatsuki.)
the reassurance, perhaps, has the opposite effect. she is trying to normalize it, and while he does think of his world and his upbringing and his life as normal, he is still one who hopes for peace and for a place where children have no need of knives. he is silent a moment, and then his attention seems to refocus on her, red eyes meeting hers deliberately. ）
Clara-san... I appreciate your tact, but I do not need you to justify or sympathize with my world as it is. I am aware of its flaws.
（ he says that with deliberation, it is clear the words have been chosen with care. he has no desire to offend her, simply to make his stance clear. ）
no subject
But as the blue glow begins to fade and the pressure lessens up a little, she's left looking over at him in concern. She wonders what he must think of her for trying to make sense out of where he's from. If he's insulted, she should apologize.]
Sorry, I just -
[she hesitates, glancing away.]
I just think that something can be flawed and still be good.
[Because if she doesn't think that way, she'll lose hope that she's able to be considered a good person at the end of the day. She's so, so flawed and broken. She will always try to find reason and justify other flawed things and their right to exist.]
no subject
（ he releases her, once he's finished, withdrawing deft hands back into his own space as if he had never touched her at all. it isn't entirely healed, but it should feel the tiniest bit better, the soreness and ache to the muscles eased off at least. he will never be truly skilled at this but it is more important, on these missions, that they have a healer than a man who can reach into minds and leave them a desolate wasteland.
realizing that his best function here may be healing over hurt is something he has not examined too deeply in himself. but turning away from the rack and ruin of what he knows, what he has honed himself for — he has not yet decided his feelings about it.
he does not look at her as he speaks, an oddly avoidant tactic. he generally has no difficulty with meeting the gazes of others, it is a question of whether or not they will meet his. ）
And you are not incorrect to think that. I am aware that my village has its deficiencies, but it is still the home that I love.
（ he has spent nearly a decade denying all affection and allegiance for konoha. to be in a position to say it so freely, without wondering who he may have condemned by saying so, is an odd thing. freeing, almost. she cannot know the gift she has given him, nor is it evident.
he stands, then, and gives her a polite — if shallow — bow. ）
You have my gratitude for allowing me to work on your arm.
（ there is still the tea to be had, but at the very least he can move to one of the chairs for that. he turns to the tray, and sets about filling the little earthenware cups. ）
no subject
Instead, she turns her focus onto tea. Tea is nice and safe, it's something they both enjoy. It's a way to enjoy one another's company without any expectations of conversation beyond simple small talk.]