Ximilia Contact

[bossily]

// stargirl

TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO

XIMILIA

Comments

[peasant]

i think that answers any questions i had, actually
are you really going to excuse it as "husbandly duties"
there's no need to perform "husbandly duties" if there's no one there to witness it

[bossily]

why do I have to excuse it as anything? it's not like anything more happened than his helping me put on a corset

[peasant]

alright

[ a small baby step backward, if only to allow clara room for the discomfort alina can nearly sense roiling off of her in waves. ]

but if you wanted it to ...

[ she's only saying. ]

[bossily]

Of course I want something more to happen. I desperately want something to happen.

But he's already told me once before that isn't possible.

[there's your deets, alina. enjoy ]

[peasant]

what do you mean "isn't possible"
it's not that difficult to
well
you know

[bossily]

yeah, I know.

but I can't just press for more. not when we've only shared a couple of kisses

[peasant]

why not?
he wouldn't have kissed you if he wasn't a little interested

[bossily]

the first time he didn't entirely kiss back

and the second was under the mistletoe

i think he felt obligated

[peasant]

do you know many people that kiss each other because they feel obligated?

[bossily]

yeah, only about half of the married people on Earth.

things with the Doctor are complicated. you know how I feel about him. I can't go and mess that up any more than I already have

[peasant]

i do know
and i also know how he feels about you
you'll be pining forever and wondering "what if" if you don't try to ask for more

[bossily]

how do you know how he feels about me?

[peasant]

you told me what he did just to be with you
do you really think he would have done that for just anyone?

you're special to him, clara
if death wasn't enough to keep him from you, asking for more isn't going to ruin things
honestly, it sounds like there's very little that he would let come between the two of you
including a little more than a kiss

[bossily]

it's more complicated than that

there's two of him here. and i'm pretty sure the Doctor is exactly the sort of man that would be jealous of himself

not to mention the fact i couldn't handle losing him just because I was feeling keen to get him in bed. and i worry that's exactly what would happen. he would pull away completely.

[peasant]

[ she'll retrace her steps in a moment, but — ]

wait
do you not want to be with the both of them?

[bossily]

[if only alina could hear the gasp she just let out]

there is absolutely no way that would end well

[peasant]

i don't see why it wouldn't?
they both love you

[bossily]

i'm quite frankly not even sure how that would work

just the sheer mechanics of it are mind boggling

[peasant]

wait
what do mechanics have to do with it
loving two people doesn't require that much preparation

well
at least i assume it doesn't

[bossily]

oh

you meant being in a relationship with the both of them

i can see how my response would be confusing

[peasant]

what else would i have
oh

[ oops. ]

not that there's anything wrong with that option either
if that's what you wanted
i'm fairly certain the mechanics of what you were thinking about are even less complicated

[bossily]

[dear god she has never blushed this hard in her entire life this is mortifying]

can we talk about you and your romantic life now?

you now know everything about mine. i know next to nothing about yours

[peasant]

don't think i'll forget about this

[ the answer is a resounding no twisting up her insides until they're a mangled mess, but. fleeing at this juncture would be too obvious, wouldn't it? ]

what could you possibly want to know about mine?

[bossily]

dunno

who it is you're kissing maybe?

[peasant]

you've already met my bullet-ridden boyfriend
his fragile pride is going to be upset if you claim it wasn't a memorable occasion

[ not exactly the answer clara was seeking, no, but it's the one alina opts for. ]